August 17, 2015
My dearest family and friends,
I will rise above my past.
I have been thinking about how often we blame our past for who we are. I will not let my past define me. I have the ability to choose between good and evil. Human nature learns and thrives on patterns. Our behavior becomes a careless pattern if we are not careful. I feel like in many conversations we blame our past for why we are a certain way. We might say, “My past is why I am a closed book, or why I am not good at communicating.” It may be true but for me I feel it is just an excuse not to step up and become who we can be. For me, I am done blaming my past for acting a certain way. I am done letting the past define who I am. I will lose my life for the Lord so I may become the best I can be. I am done with getting frustrated when I fail. I will step up and become exactly who the Lord wants me to be. I will have a fast rebound when I fail. The Lord is hastening the work, and if this hastening requires hastening and chastening and refining, I am ready and I am willing. I want to be refined. I want my will to match the Father’s. I want my mind to becomes His. I want to face trials where for a small moment I might feel forsaken, I might feel he has hid his face, and I might ask where is the pavilion that covereth thy hiding place and through it all I will be the one who removes my ego from myself and my heart will be broken and my vulnerabilities will become strengths.
This life is worth it. It is worth the trials. It is worth everything to become like our Father in Heaven. I love being a missionary, but even more than that I love being a child of God. I love this gospel and I love agency. Who knew that controlling ourselves could bring so much joy instead of controlling our surroundings! This mission is the best thing I have ever done.
I love being a missionary!
Reunited Again with Sister Rasband