Sad Situations

July 20^, 2015

Hey Family and Friends,

What to say, what to say for this week! It has been a blessed one for sure.  I am so grateful to be a missionary. My area is an emotional one. I feel like I was either unaware of these sad situations in Lilongwe or Lilongwe was just good but Blantyre and Zambia are just filled with sorrow. And I don’t want to be negative haha but its true.

So we have this sweet, sweet investigator who is progressing. He takes notes like all day long. And He comes to church and takes notes. He told us that he had stopped drinking… But we forgot to call him the night before to tell him that we were coming and we just showed up and he was totally wasted and I was dying that whole lesson. I was breaking down. Haha. Well actually we didn’t have a lesson because his wife wasn’t there and we have to have a woman present to teach a male but he started talking about his wife like she was some puppy that he could command around. He was all mad, talking about divorce because she isn’t listening to him. It was so hurtful. Sometimes the real world is scary. A person’s reality or perception of reality is so hard to understand and it is sad that people understand life the way that they do.

So we have another investigator…well he isn’t really an investigator because we just had a first lesson. It was yesterday and I feel like I keep getting reminded how hard life can be. He told us that he doesn’t know why he should stop drinking and we were telling him because it’s bad for you. And the spirit was telling me to bring up his family. So I asked a simple question: Would you want your kids to be drinking? Immediately he said no. And then we taught him about his role as a father and he said that he would try his best to change. And then he started telling us to go and teach people in the pubs or in the bars where there are prostitutes and he started telling us these sad stories of prostitutes and how they just sell themselves away. He even asked four of them why they were prostitutes and they said that it is because they have no money and they need to eat somehow. Then he asked them if he gave them money to start a business would they do it and quit being a prostitute? And two said they would.  The other two said no. I just don’t understand why people live like they do. Life is hard enough. Why make it harder. I feel like they must just numb out reality. I have this tendency in lessons -- to numb out reality so I can hold it together when I hear sorrowful stories. I have this tendency to block out the feelings of sorrow that I have for people because it’s difficult. I switch off my emotions as I am meeting people or seeing people’s lives being destroyed by drinking or other types of sins. Sometimes I feel like my heart is weighed down with sorrow from time to time because of the people I come in contact with. These people’s lives! Sometimes reality hits me and it hits me hard. And it’s so sad. I will never be a social worker haha I will be a mess always haha.

Well on a positive note… Haha J (Sorry those two stories were kind of sad.) I really would love to express how much I love my trainer. Sister Ntuli. I miss that woman. She truly changed my life. I miss her “put me
in any area and I’ll baptize.” I miss that attitude that I think rubbed off on me a little. J And I miss laughing as we called our district leader because our success was so bad at the beginning. I miss her excitement and enthusiasm. I miss her asking me “What makes you happy Sister Falco?” I miss singing “you are gonna miss this your gonna want this back” as we knocked on gates all day long. I miss leaving Pday early because we begged, we pleaded for success and we didn’t know how else to improve. I miss our quote “go hard or go home”. I miss the beautiful heaven sent Lunguzi family that came after so many one-time investigators at church. I miss her Pentecostal music. “GOD IS ABLE.” I miss her always saying, “If you talk or think bad about others, the problem is you not them.” Ha I miss the first week when I said I need a taxi, And then she chastised me, “There is NO “I” IN A COMPANIONSHIP!” Haha That was a simple day and a simple thing but everytime I think to blame or get upset or take the credit I remember “There is No I or YOU in a companionship it’s a WE”! I miss walking home past curfew and the day when we almost got killed? Haha I miss when we weren’t focused, we’d chastise each other with “mind on my mission, mission on my mind. “ J I literally had the best trainer in the world; I don’t care what anyone else says. J

I am so grateful to be a missionary I really need to be better. I really want to be better and I really want to do my best. I feel so inadequate--like always, but I am grateful for the atonement and for the ability it has to carry me through my mission.

Mission’s the best! I love you all so very much!! You are the best!


Sister Falco

Sister Falco & Sister Quaye

Carly has her tights on--must be cold!